once again,, my friend see him outside.
its always my friends who sees him outside.
and when ever they see him,,
they will 1st think of me and call me.
haha! thanks guys.

well i felt really paiseh,,
cuz everytime he have a sudden call from someone he doesn't knows.
strangers will walk to him and hey,, iris wanna tok to u.
its like its more than 2 times already.
i felt really bad cuz its not really nice to stop someone out of a sudden.

once he listen the phone,,
he say. wah,, how come everywhere also your friends one?
haha...
( paiseh paiseh. )
anyway,, have a nice chat. though its kinda short. haha.

was helping my mom just now.
she was there complaining abt the world now is what what what.
say this what and that what.. what also complain.
she make herself think and think and think.
its like.. there is no need for u to complain abt the world now.
everything change! its not like your old days in kampong when there is no phone.
now the world have change. so u have to change with the world.
and what for complain abt things that is non-of your business?
and end up complain abt our house...
every single thing u can complain!
i don't want u to do that. i think its hurting yourself.
ure making yourself in a state of being emo at times!
i hate it. and u always nag softly by yourself.
ure scaring me.
no one likes anyone to nag at them.
so if u nag,, sure i dun like and give face what?
but i didn't mean anything!
and to u,, u think i'm like hot tempred and stuff.
yes i admit i have hot tempre.
but i don't get angry for nothing. i just hate ppl keep nagging and saying like as if i'm not doing anything when i actually did.
u don't know whats in my head.
what i'm thinking,, and ure there nagging like nobodys business!

i know u have alot of xin shi...
but u know what? u don't seems to share anything with me?
i'm worried abt u. do u know that?
yes i seems to be like lazy and doing my own stuff without bothering u guys.
but do u know how much it hurts when i always hear u complaining abt things happen in the house to my grandma.
both of u had hard times all these while.
many things happen yes i know. u guys are really strong!
i love u guys. but i don't show it thats all.

i always sleep late,,
and almost everytime when i wake up,,
i could hear your voice and grandma voice,,
talking abt things which keep inside u for very long and u really need someone to tok to.
i will always sit at the stairs,,
listening to what u say.
cuz u don't tell me anything.
i want to know,, but u don't say.
u would either wait for my sister to come home and share with her.
u would tok to grandma when there is no one at home.
but what abt me? u dun seem to see me there.
i'm always at home.
u say i'll get tempered up if u say,,
but ure sharing things with me... not as if ure NAGGING me?
if u want to share,, i'll sit there and listen!

do u know? everytime when i'm taking money from u,,
i'll feel bad. i don't want to take too much.
and i end up lending money from ppl.
and u'll be there nagging me saying why i should lend money from ppl.
do u think i like it. NO i don't. and i hate borrowing money from my friends and own them for like mths before i can return u.
and u'll be like... see luh everyday go out..
use so many money and blah blah blah..
did i? i nv luh. and u asume that i'll use all the money when i'm out.
everything u think u think.
i myself don't feel good taking money from u okays.
and when my friends ask me out,,
sometimes i'll think.
ohh today i went out,, tml i cannot go out.
cuz why? u always say we always go out and nv stay at home.
and say no one accompany grandma...
and i'll think,, if i go out 2 days in a row,,
i think u'll get angry. so most of the times i push my friends away..
just to stay at home.
u don't usually see me going out.
during sch days... i come home everyday after school.
sat, sun. i dun usually go out.
and now its holiday... i want to go out.
but i'm afraid u'll nag and stuff...
argh. i don't want to say anymore.

well ppl,, i'm fine. (:
don't worrie if u read yah. haas' (:
HAPPY HOLIDAY EVERYONE.

*RIS